


Crushed

by Aimh_harreh



Category: larrystylinson - Fandom
Genre: Anal, Angst, Blowjobs, Bottom!Harry, Destructive Relationship, Gay, Harry Styles - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Sexualabuse, Smut, Underage - Freeform, YoungHarry, handjobs, larry - Freeform, larrystylinson, nippleplay, noncon, olderlouis, top!Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:11:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6198127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aimh_harreh/pseuds/Aimh_harreh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I never said thank you,"<br/>"For what?"<br/>"Helping saving me?" </p><p>Or</p><p>Harry has had a crush on Niall's older step brother for many years. Harry remembers the times when Harry was younger and Louis was the shoulder to cry on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings!! 
> 
> Feel free to comment what you think.
> 
> This is only the first chapter! (:

"'S on the house, anything for my baby brother and his best mate," Louis smiles softly from behind the counter. Harry blushes instantly mumbling a thanks, Louis always has this effect on him, always has had. It's pathetic he is aware but he can't help it. 

Harry has known Niall since the beginning of time, Niall's parents got divorced and his dad remarried a woman which happened to have the most attractive son. Louis Tomlinson, short and manly as hell. Maybe a few years older too, okay maybe a more than a few,seven to be exact. But the age difference didn't stop him from crushing on him, bad. 

"I'm not your real-" Niall tries to speak but gets cut off by the slightly high pitched voice quickly.

"Real brother, yeah yeah I know but I see you as one. Just take the damn coffee and leave before I change my mind idiot," he smiles shaking his head slow and Harry's stomach flutters, everything he does is so attractive and just perfect, he is perfect.

"Okay,you better come visit someday soon, mum misses ya!" Niall exclaims as he begins walking away, embarrassingly needing to drag Harry by his wrist away with him. Which makes the cutest little chuckle leave the older blue eyed lads mouth.

"Could you be more obvious?" Niall laughs and throws his arms out.

Harry furrows his brows in confusion and takes a sip of the hot liquid from the cardboard cup in his big hand. "What?" He finally asks when he has swallowed and felt it go down his throat slow.

"You were staring at him like a creep, you- you creep," he stares at Harry and huffs who only returns his comment with a big eyed gaze. 

What is so wrong with looking at a person who you are engaging in a conversation with? He wasn't being creepy? Right?

"Whatever, I'm just saying that if you don't want to embarrass yourself try to keep it cool," he begins and steps into the drivers seat in his car they had approached. 

"Jesus Harry, you are so weird around him, not at all like yourself. Why did you have to have a crush on my brother? He is twenty five too, you know how sick that is?" Harry knows Niall is okay with it and is only saying it in a kind of joking way. 

At least he hopes so, because he already is upset over the fact that Louis is way out of his league and Niall nagging him about it didn't make it better.

"Wasn't it you who just told him that he wasn't your real brother?" Harry grins sheepishly and looks out the window at the different shops they pass and the people walking around outside of them.

"Whatever H," Niall scoffs and turns on the radio blasting some song from the charts right now.  
It's nothing like the songs Louis plays in his car whenever he would be at Niall's and wanted to be nice and drive Harry home. 

Harry always looks forward the evenings when Louis would visit Niall's and offer his help to drive him home. Unfortunately Niall always goes with so Harry doesn't really get to talk to Louis like we would want but maybe it's for the better. Harry usually gets really shy around him or his embarrasses himself to the point that he just wants to disappear.

"Want to sleep over tonight?" Niall asks when they are close to the big fancy house he has been to all too many times before. Honestly he is feeling tired and just wants to go home, he is just about to kindly turn down the offer when Niall interrupts him. 

"Sweet! Lou decided to come for dinner tonight so Jay will probably make something nice," Niall smiles wide and Harry chuckles, because Niall isn't beaming about his brother, well stepbrother but whatever, visiting but only about food. Nothing new though. 

"Ni, the food at your house is always good," Harry shakes his head and a breathy laugh escapes. 

Then he realises what Niall said. Louis is going to be there. Now the sleeping over seems oddly inviting again and Harry doesn't feel tired at all anymore. Weird. That has absolutely nothing to do with Louis, of course.

"I'll come," Harry says then nodding once and smiling. Already feeling the butterflies in his stomach when thinking about Louis being there too. Maybe he will even gather enough courage to talk to him properly like the old times. 

They have talked many times of course as Louis has lived there too when he was younger and also about a year ago when Harry's life looked very different from now. 

Now Louis has moved out and lives in some apartment. He says that's the best thing he has done, moved out that is. Except the part that he has to make his own food and wash his own clothes. 

The conversations have been about literally anything and nothing but Harry enjoys them all just as much.

"It's not just because of Louis?" Niall asks suddenly sounding slightly more insecure than before. 

"No! No Niall of course not!" Harry is quick to answer because that isn't the case. He doesn't lie, it's not only because of Louis. Louis is only a reason behind the decision.

-

"Hey baby glad to have you here again," jay exclaims happily and grabs Louis to drag him into one of her big loving bear hugs. 

Louis lets out a supposed annoyed groan like always but Harry doesn't miss the fond in his face even if he tries his best to hide it. 

He realises he is just standing there staring from around the corner, now he knows what Niall meant when he called him a creep. It is a bit creepy. 

He is on a mission from Niall to get soda down to the basement where Niall is starting up Fifa for them to play. He just kind of stopped when he saw that familiar mess of hair by the door.

He clears his throat and finally turns the corner completely getting both Jay's and Louis' eyes on him. Harry tries his best not to blush from the intense stare from Louis, he always has this weird look that makes him almost squirm.

"Hey darling, did you want something?" Jay finally asks after a moment of stares and silence. 

"I, um, yeah," Harry closes his and to tries to gather his thoughts, he hates how he always gets all flustered around Louis, it's truly embarrassing.

"Niall told me to go get us some soda, if that is fine with you?" Harry asks trying to sound as polite as possible and looks down to not stutter or loose his words completely. 

Even if he has been here many many times before since he and Niall have known each other since before they could walk basically, Harry still is polite and tries to always behave extra good behaved. Not that there is anything wrong with that, he simply isn't as free and outgoing like Niall who walks around in Harry's house in only briefs and gets himself whatever he wants whenever. Which isn't wrong either.

"Of course love, c'mere," she smiles her warm smile and gestures with her hand for him to follow into the kitchen. 

Louis is taking off his shoes and like he knows Harry is staring he looks up and smiles a small but very warm smile. 

Louis has never been the brother to not let his smaller brother borrow his things or throw him out of his room, well not always. Louis is just a kind person, one Harry looks up to very much. One that Harry owes much to. 

"Hey, H," he says soft as he walks by him not forgetting to ruffle Harry's already messy mop of curls. 

The action makes him shiver and the butterflies are back. Every touch from Louis sends electricity trough his body. The good kind. 

He has almost forgot about Jay so he rushes into the kitchen while trying to fix his unruly curls and tangles.

"Here you go, Harry," that woman never seems to stop smiling. Harry finds comfort around her, she is so happy and loving and one of the most accepting and helping people he has met. He can definitely see where Louis has gotten it from. 

He takes the bottle of soda in one hand and the two cups in the other, it isn't that hard at all as his hands are quite big.

"Took you long enough, what happened? Did your eyes get stuck on my brother again you creep?" Niall jokes and Harry just laughs awkwardly because no that was absolutely not what happened.

-

"Thank you for the dinner, Jay. As good as always," Harry smiles at her and she mumbles a "thanks love". 

"Yes mum, it was really good. I miss this. The food I make always burns and Liam only makes healthy shit food," Louis laughs and Harry freezes in his seat. Who is Liam? Is that his new boyfriend? Then almost instantly and luckily enough right before someone was about to take notice of his strange behaviour he remembers the new roommate Louis has talked about at the dinner. Liam is probably that person, well he hopes he is.

"Niall,Hun will you please help with the dishes?" Jay asks and looks away from Louis to Niall who sits back with his hands on his tummy and looks as full as ever. 

He groans loud like every time and Harry as always offers his help instead. He doesn't mind, Harry gets to stay here after all this is the least he can do. 

"Thank you so much Harry, Niall are you really going to let Harry take care of it again?" Jay asks and sighs slightly looking between them with an apologising look. 

"Yup, have fun with that mate. I'll be in my room fixing your bed, so I will not be completely useless," Niall glares at them, it's only jokingly Harry knows that. That's just the way Niall is. 

"It's fine I can handle it," Harry shakes his head and then smiles as assuring as he can.

They all begin to stand up and put their plates in the sink. It looks so clean like always, Harry never has understood how they can keep it so clean. 

Maybe because Niall only hangs out down in the basement and that room is a whole another story. As messy as a room can get. Harry bets he could even loose Niall in there somehow, under all of those clothes, food wrappers and cans.

"I'll help you," a voice says from behind startling Harry. He quickly turns around and is met by a bright warm smile.

Louis is standing behind him but not too close. It's unfortunate, if Harry were to decide he would stand as close as possible to Louis. Breathing in the sweet smell of Louis Tomlinson and feeling the smooth skin radiating heat. 

"I'll wash them, you dry them," he continues and stretches out a towel towards him.Harry feels stuck in place but forces his eyes off of Louis and nods shyly. 

"Thanks," he finally gets out as Louis has already began running the water and getting a plate up. 

Louis always has helped. Always so kind.

They wash and dry the dishes mostly in silence. Once in a while Louis will apologise if he splashes water on Harry but Harry only giggles and doesn't mind. Harry will apologise if he almost drops the plate or if his hand touches Louis' which he can admit is pathetic. 

Harry is desperate though, desperate to talk to him. Have a conversation, get him to laugh. That has always been the best feeling ever, getting Louis Tomlinson to laugh, so much so that his eyes crinkle at the side and his head is thrown back. He just doesn't know what to say. 

"How's work?" He blurts out and regrets it immediately. What kind of question even is that? Who asks about work?  
Little, pathetic Harry apparently.

"It's, well, good I suppose but work is work you know," Louis shrugs the happy tone in his voice never leaving. 

"Oh, yeah," Harry quietly agrees as e keeps drying the glass in his hand carefully, taking his time.

"The best has to be when cute guys come in and order though," Louis chuckles and Harry wants so bad to see his face right now, he always does but it's extra much right now. So he does.

Louis looks as cute as ever when he chuckles or giggles. The best is when he holds his tiny hand in front of his mouth. Harry tries to hide his fond and looks down again. Putting the dry glass to the side and grabbing the wet clean fork Louis hands out.

"There was this one guy, Eric, he was extremely cute. I though I could faint he was so attractive," Louis begins to explain and there is tugging in Harry's chest because it feels weird and uncomfortable for Harry when Louis talks about other guys. Especially since he knows Louis is gay too. It's definitely not jealousy. 

"But then he came up to order and he was hitting on everyone or was just being extremely rude to me and everyone working he laid his eyes on basically, bossing us around like crazy and huffing offending words under his breath to all of us," 

Even though Harry knows he shouldn't feel relieved for such a bad thing, but, he does. 

"What? How rude," Harry tries to sound the right amount of sad and irritated while not thinking about how happy he is that Eric didn't turn out to be mr dreamy.

"Then I realised the term fuckboy maybe isn't such a bad and weird term after all," he laughs making Harry feel warm inside and Harry laughs too only because that's what Louis' laughs usually does to him.

Harry knows that term. He knows guys like that too. His ex Alec being one of them. He remembers liking him so much, even if he still liked Louis at the time for some odd and wrong reason. He finally had found another guy who made him feel just as good as Louis did and this time his feelings could be answered. 

He knew Niall's mate and Harry met him at a party. One of those big birthday parties where nobody knows anybody but the people they came with but they still get it on like everyone there are best mates since middle school. 

Alec was a dream. He was tall, had his chocolate and caramel coloured hair in a quiff, his eyes were an even deep brown, his lips were pink and plump and his body was very well built. His personality was everything but flawed, he was so kind, funny and easy going. Of course it was too good to be true that a guy like him liked someone like Harry. 

Harry and Niall were only sixteen and already making bad choices, the people there were older including Alec who was nineteen. Harry has just always like older guys, he liked how experienced they were and how they were much more mature than guys in his age. He thought Alec was perfect, of course he wasn't.

They dated for three months, well, mostly they fucked and sometimes if Harry was lucky Alec was still there when he woke up from his after sex nap. 

Harry didn't complain though because at least someone did care enough about him to all him his boyfriend and sometimes even compliment while fucking into his smaller body. 

Harry used to be so insecure and young and when he found Alec in bed with another guy he at first he of course forgave him. Then he saw him in bed with a girl and then another and then Niall forced him into breaking things with the guy. 

Harry was so heartbroken, he felt so useless for a while. 

After the breakup the partying was constant, the drinking wasn't only on the weekends and the meaningless emotion ruining sex was everyday. 

Sadness floods his body and Harry tries his absolute best to ignore the prickling behind his eyes. 

He wonders if Louis remembers about the times a year ago when Harry was a mess, when he was just a burden and so annoying all the time. 

Louis helped him so much but unfortunately also made him realise the feelings actually never left. 

When he took care of Niall he took care of Harry too, they went to his house instead of Niall's or Harry's since they were drunk out of their minds and were throwing up everywhere. Harry was always a sobbing mess, he was too drunk to remember why but he will never forget the crying every damn night in Niall's or Louis' accepting loving arms. 

Then he got better. Niall helped him too of course, more than everyone. Now everything was good, except that it feels like Louis has pushed it all away and Niall never brings it up either. It's just an old part of their life that will hopefully be forgotten by Harry too someday. 

Harry doesn't feel like he has thanked him enough though about it but it would be so weird to suddenly bring it up after so many months so he doesn't. He chooses to push the memories away.

"Everything alright mate?" Harry jumps at the sudden contact, Louis puts his arm around his shoulders rubbing up and down his bicep. 

"Um, yeah? Sorry I just zoned out," he tries to keep his face neutral and not melt into the warm touch. 

"I noticed, I've washed the last two glasses," Louis grins nodding down to the counter in front of Harry and Harry immediately gets to work, not taking his time anymore. 

"Sorry," Harry mumbles as he puts down the first glass and picks up the other wet one up quick after. 

"Don't worry love," Louis pats his shoulder and drags his hand down slow, almost lingering. The pet name and the touch makes Harry loose his breath for a moment, he swallows hard and completely misses the low chuckle coming from behind as Louis leaves the kitchen. 

-

"H, do you think Chelsea likes me?" Niall asks as they are beginning to pull their pants down their legs after a long chat and a few games of Fifa downstairs. Harry's are gripping at his thick thighs making it a struggle to keep his balance. 

"Yeah of course, why not?" Harry wonders genuinely, he has seen the way their classmate Chelsea acts around Niall. The way she laughs at everything he was to say and smiles way too big and often to be just friendly. 

"I don't know, whenever I try to make a move when we're studying or whatever she never notices or maybe she just doesn't like me like that and decides to ignore me?" 

Harry likes this about them, they can be complete dicks to each other but when it comes down to it they have a bond as strong as brothers and can talk about everything. 

Most guys they know never talk about stuff like they do, they say only girls are close like that but to them it's utter bullshit. 

Everyone needs someone who they are able to talk about everything with and not feel judged. Also to vent or simply tell their exciting stories to. Niall is that person to Harry. 

"I think she is just shy or not paying enough attention. You tell me it's when you are studying after all. Maybe she is unsure about your feelings too?" Harry suggests and pulls off the band shirt off over his head throwing it on the ground by the spare bed that was bought by their family since Harry stays there so often. He will pick the clothes up first thing tomorrow morning.

"Maybe, I just hope she feels the same way. It's been a while since it was more to me than just sex, y'know?" Niall asks from under his covers and sighs deep. 

Harry knows. He feels the same way. Last one was Alec, well, except for Louis but it doesn't count. 

He has had a crush on Louis for many years now, since he was fourteen or younger. It was just a thing for him that clicked. He knew he was gay when he was much younger but then when he started to explore his body more and thinking about it Louis was the face to always pop up in his mind. Whether it was in a normal context or in a dirty one. 

Louis was just always there. Since then he has had this crush that never went away. Even when he fell for another guy and even when he let random guys fuck him every night or day after. Even when he thought it was gone, it never fucking was.

"Yeah I know, I know," Harry answers and smiles a smile that is probably barely even noticeable.

"Let's go brush our teeth, c'mon," Harry takes Niall's rougher hand in his and pulls him up. 

Niall groans in protest and Harry just drags him to the bathroom giggling all the way. Just like when they were kids. He loves Niall just as much now if not more.


	2. Two

"Hurry up, I'm going back to bed," Niall says as he leans against the counter by the sink.

Harry nods and tries to say okay even if it's completely incoherent because of the baby blue coloured toothbrush stuck into his mouth. Niall grins and pats him on the shoulder, pushes himself hard from the counter and hurries out.

Harry always brushes his teeth for a longer time than Niall. It's not that Niall brushes them very little or Harry very much it's just the way it always turns out.

They both are feeling very tired after the Fifa and the endless chatter. It's just never enough for them, they are around each other all the time but still they never get tired or lack things to talk about. Niall is the only person Harry knows that he feels that way about.

They had rushed up the two flights of stairs and raised their voices only a little to say goodnight to Jay. Bobby was out of town for work but would be home by lunch tomorrow and Niall was excited to see his dad again after only a few days, just like when he was a little kid.

A familiar short boy steps in not even noticing Harry and now it's him who is jumping from being surprised.

"Shit, your scared the crap out of me!" Louis screeches and Harry tries to not laugh so he doesn't choke or spit everything out, that would be gross.

"You find it so hilarious don't you, you twat. What if I just died from a heart attack?" Louis tries to act serious with his face scrunched up and his fist flying in Harry's direction.

 _Drama queen_. Is what Harry is trying to say as he rolls his eyes. But Louis doesn't understand it one bit so he just shrugs and takes his toothbrush and paste.

"Who stole your clothes?" He raises an eyebrow at Harry and smirks the best he can with the toothbrush in one cheek.

Harry feels exposed as he remembers going to brushing his teeth in only briefs. The blood rushes to his face that gets redder than red. He hates it, he hates how easy he blushes.

It doesn't even have to be about Louis. Sometimes he blushes over absolutely nothing and it's so embarrassing.

"Aw did you get flustered now?" Louis teases, he does that often but somehow it's more casual and more often today than in the last couple of months. He talks to Harry more than usual over all.

Harry leans forward, spits and fills his mouth with water. Spits it out too before he looks up again.

He isn't stupid, he isn't blind. Louis is watching him up and down, watching him as he bends over and opens his mouth so the water fills his mouth up.

Harry isn't sure if he should cover himself and hide or if he should continue and be proud that Louis is checking him out.

He wants to not be a baby for once so he simply straightens his back and pretends like he doesn't notice Louis' eyes darting in the other direction as quick as possible. Nor the blushing that for once isn't on Harry's face.

He feels a grin grow on his lips because Harry is sure it was in a positive way Louis looked at him, he feels his stomach twist.

Louis spits now too and washes his face before drying it along with his hands in a towel hanging on his left side.

"I know you have a crush on me," he says then like it's the most casual and normal thing to say.

Harry stills, he stares straight ahead with wide eyes. He doesn't dare to move, he feels so embarrassed and scared and most of all, pathetic. Because Harry is only an eighteenth year old kid in Louis' eyes. He must've noticed his childish behaviour and catched on.

Is this when he is going to kindly beg Harry to stop being a creep and weirdo and even thinking that's has a chance with him? Louis is kind and would never be mean to Harry but maybe he has had enough of Harry's stares and blushes and honestly weird conversations.

"Breathe Harry, it's ok," Louis says softly and rubs his back, he isn't looking at Harry he is looking at them in the mirror.

Harry likes the height difference, it looks cute.

"So, yo-you don't think I'm, that I'm pathetic?" Harry sighs and fiddles with his fingers nervously.

"No," Louis drags out quietly and to Harry it looks like concentrating. He has got this crease between his eyebrows and he doesn't look present.

"I think it's cute," he then nods and smiles bigger. "Yeah, not pathetic, just, cute,"

Harry doesn't know what to think about it all. Dogs are cute. Babies are cute. Not eighteen year old boys.

But he decides it's better than pathetic at least. At least it's cute.

"When- how di- do you know?" Harry stutters even when he tries his best not to. Swallowing hard, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on the words he wants to say. With no luck.

"Well, it's kind of obvious really. Also you are a completely different person around me than with others and I don't think it's because you dislike me," Louis tells him while slowly dragging his fingers up to Harry's neck.

"I'm sorry?" He doesn't know what he is apologising for but he just does. Harry feels like that's the best thing he can do right now.

"Don't apologise, you can't control your feelings,H," Louis assures him and Harry feels a little better.

Louis' hand drops and he backs away, his eyes flickering all over the room.   
"Better go, Niall is waiting for you," he smiles but this time it's only a small smile that fades as quick as it's noticed.

"Yeah, g'night,"   
-

Shots. People. Laughs. Screams. Smoke. Yells. Tears. Burning. Focus. _Focus_. Focus.

Harry's eyes fly open and his lungs fill with air after what feels like forever.

Nightmares did happen quite often, he never understands what they are about. It's often quick really unfocused and shaky clips of people and sounds.

They always make him feel as scared and uncomfortable even if Harry doesn't know why.

He is so happy when he finally gets back to his senses and remembers he is at Niall's.

He stands up from the spear bed and walks over to the other side of the room where Niall is sleeping peacefully.

"Ni?" Harry whispers and pushes Niall to the side earning a groan.

"Niall," he raises his voice a little but not too much. He shakes him lightly until the eyes open and he drags his palm over his face.   
"Yeah?"

"Can I?" Harry simply asks as he points down to Niall's bed. He always feel safe when he sleeps with others.

"Wha- oh,yeah 'course," Niall says raspy and relaxes again when Harry climbs in.

It's not weird, it never been weird. They have always been the close friends.

"Something wrong?" Niall asks and even if Harry can hear the desperation to get back to sleep he appreciates that Niall always asks, to make sure.

"Yes, it was only a nightmare," Harry answers with a breathy laugh and turns his back to Niall.

"Good night, H," Niall says and massages Harry's scalp for a moment. That always, always relaxes Harry. Makes him feel calm and safe.

The fingertips leave his tangled curls and Harry sighs pleased before letting himself fall asleep again.

-

"Guys, mum is away getting Bobby at the airport so she said you can order pizza. What do you want?" The sudden voice speaking to him wakes him up. Harry groans and squints to adjust his eyes to the light.

Niall as expected doesn't notice anything and just sleeps on.

"What time is it?" Harry asks and cringes internally at the little voice crack by the end of the sentence.

"It's pretty early, ten I think?" Louis says almost questioning himself. Harry just wants to go back to sleep, he doesn't want to eat pizza right now. He doesn't want anything.   
Except maybe talking to Louis.

"So, veggie as always for you? And a pepperoni for the basic bitch over there?" Louis asks and they both chuckle. Harry feels warm inside, Louis remembers his order.

"No thanks, I just want to sleep didn't really have a good one so we will order ours later, thanks," Harry smiles softly and Louis nods.

"Okay, well I need to go meet Liam for some furniture shopping so I'll see you around, yeah?" Harry kind of wishes he could go furniture shopping with Louis.

They could walk hand in hand through many stores and all aisles looking at everything for their own apartment. That would be so nice.

Harry nods and waves goodbye as Louis closes the door after himself and heads out.

Harry falls back asleep with the thoughts of having a little apartment only for him and Louis.


	3. 3

"Are you sure you feel like going? We don't have to you know," Niall assures Harry as he stands in front of the tall mirror by the door in his room. 

His hair is a total mess, like always but somehow way worse and his clothes look either too tight or too loose. Everything just looks wrong, Harry groans loud and Niall raises his eyes from where he is seated at the end of Harry's soft bed. 

"I'm sure, if I only could get a hold of this mop of hair. I look like shit," Harry complains just like he has done for an hour now at least. Niall laughs under his breath and pushes himself up on his feet. 

He grabs something from the closet before walking up to Harry again and holds his hand out. He holds two items in his hand stacked on each other. One being Harry's old snapback and the other a simple black hat. 

Harry takes the both from Niall's warm hands and takes turns to try them on to see how they look on him. 

After an hour of trying on different outfits he finally went with black skinnies and a simple band tee. The black hat does not match the clothes at all so Harry puts on the dark blue snapback backwards and throws the black hat to the ground on the big pile of clothes he has created.

"You look great, mate," Niall pats Harry on the back and nods approving. Harry thinks the snapback does the trick for his unruly curls and he smiles at Niall in the mirror. 

"Thanks," Harry says, both for the compliment and for knowing exactly how to save the day like always.

"Now let's go, party already started thirty minutes ago," Niall picks up his keys from the drawer and Harry his phone and home keys. 

It has been quite a while since they went out partying. It's not like something big happened that made them not want to go anymore it just kind of happened. One day they were having the time of their lives getting wasted and flirting and the next they realised they should slow down a bit and focus on more important things. They would have plenty of time to party all they wanted when they were older. 

Or maybe, Harry thinks, maybe he had finally gotten over Alec and his heart was finally not in a million pieces anymore so he didn't need the alcohol or the meaningless sex to numb him.

Harry chooses the first over the latter, it makes him sound and feel more grown up and not so ridiculous. 

They are going though, after six months or so, they are going to a party. It's one of those big birthday parties where nobody knows anybody, just like the one he met Alec at. Harry is nervous of course, because what if things will remind him Alec and he falls down the hole of sadness again and doesn't get up again. 

He is not all too nervous though, thanks to him knowing that running into Alec again is near to impossible. 

Harry remembers being at one of the many parties Niall and he went to and they ran into him. Alec was being so nice and Harry felt whole again somehow after such a long time. Harry remembers that Alec talking to him again and being nice made him feel not so worthless as he thought he was. It was a great night.

They catched up on things, they got drunk together again. Harry of course with his bad luck doesn't remember all of it, he is sure he passed out some time during the night as it's mostly a blur. 

But what he does remember and will never forget is the shit feeling when he heard the news from some random friend of Niall that from out of nowhere only a week later Alec was gone, he had left the city. Without a word to anyone other than those friends saying he was leaving. Harry had felt so heartbroken once again. 

Of course Harry got over that too but he still doesn't know why Alec left like that when things seemed so good for him. Although Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know either. It was in the past and he had finally moved on, no need to stress about it. 

-

Niall parks his car outside of the house where the party was at. The house is big and decorated with lights and people are walking in and out of it like nobody's business. Houses where parties like these are held are always big and the alcohol is always good. Maybe it's worth coming here after all Harry thinks as they step out. 

"Who's birthday was it again?" He asks and takes off his snapback only to ruffle the messy curls and put it back on pushing them out from his face. 

"Zayn's, he's turning twenty-something I don't know exactly," Niall explains as they enter the front door and push themselves past two guys all too drunk already. 

The cold is replaced by hot and smoke filled air filling their lungs.   
It's an odd but familiar and strangely relaxing feeling to be back at a place like this again. 

He adjusts his eyes to the dark hazy room and the purple and blue lights filling the house. They don't even get to the next room before plastic cups almost filled to the brim with some mystery drink are pushed into their hands. They start drinking without second thought and socialising with whoever greets them.

"Names Nathan," he grabs Nathan's big and warm hand and shakes it, he's got a firm grip that's for sure.

"Harry," he smiles and nods. "Oh, and this is my best mate, Niall," he grabs Niall who is talking to some girl by his collar of the button up and puts and arm around him.  
"Nice to meet you bro," Niall greets and smiles as bright as always. 

"How do you know zayn?" Nathan asks them and Harry doesn't know if he should feel uncomfortable or flattered as Nathan barely looks away from him. Looking him up and down with an almost smug look on his face. 

"We don't, we met him at a party a long time ago and exchanged numbers. Then we got a text that it was his birthday and he was throwing a party," Harry shrugs and smiles a halfhearted smile.

The boy? Man? Whatever, he looks attractive honestly. Very much so, he has blonde hair tucked behind his ears and cheekbones as sharp as a knife. He is very tall, and has broad shoulders. He is just very attractive but he is no Louis. 

Harry almost groans not only internally but also out loud at the frustration. Why won't he ever stop thinking about goddamn Louis? He isn't anything special really. He's just a pathetic crush that Harry could never get and for gods sake he is Niall's step brother.

"Oh, I've known him since we were in middle school. Great guy," Nathan nods and looks away from Harry finally to look around the crowded room. 

There are a lot of people here, some teenagers and some in their twenties. It's just like a few years back. 

By now he can't help but feel kind of uneasy with his surroundings. It's been such a long time and he feels weird about being back. Like he is doing something forbidden. 

He pushes that thought as far back as he can and tries not to focus on it at all. Instead he drinks up the last sip of whatever he was given earlier. 

"Speaking of the devil," Niall laughs and nods towards the male walking up to them. He is a familiar face but Zayn still looks nothing like before. His head is shaven and there are new tattoos scattering his body. 

They look cool and hot on his golden body but nothing like on Louis. Louis looks like both sex on legs and like a kitten and although that's the most horrific mix it's the only Harry wants anything and everything with. 

"Hey mate, long time no see," Niall goes in for the big bro hug of course and Harry comes back from his little zone out to hug Zayn too. He is warm and smells of both alcohol and smoke. 

He wonders why Louis never smells of smoke. Well not to this extend at least, Harry can usually smell some trace of smoke on his clothes but he still smells like the most heavenly creature walking on this earth. A mixture of vanilla and cologne and just clean. 

"Where have you guys been? It's really been ages!" Zayn exclaims and jokingly pushes Harry who laughs a forced laugh. 

"We kind of stopped," Niall shrugs and grabs another cup from someone walking by. The girls raises her voice at him and he just looks away and whistles like he is innocent. This makes Harry laugh for real, his friend is a total dipshit sometimes.

"Stopped what? Partying?" Zayn looks between them with wide eyes. Like they just told him they invented a time machine or some other miracle, this guys is into it way too deep.

They nod slowly and Niall nudges him with the elbow to offer Harry a sip or two of his drink which he doesn't turn down. 

"Wow, you must've lost your minds. But, good for you," he smiles and pats them on their backs, almost like he is congratulating them for an accomplishment. It's all just weird if anything.

"Well we better get going, we promised some lads we'd go hang out with them," Zayn smirks and wiggles his brow. Nathan nods and takes another gulp from the Beer bottle that looks so small in his hand. 

"See you around, happy birthday," they tell him as they walk away and Nathan only follows not forgetting a little wave to them both but probably more to Harry. 

"You think Nathan's into dudes too?" Niall asks and begins to walk away from where they had been stood for a while now. The music gets louder and Harry assumes they are by the living room. 

"I don't know? Maybe?" Harry is unsure about it. Yes, Zayn is into guys and him and Nathan had promised to go hang out with some, whatever that meant. Also he couldn't get his eyes off of Harry but if there is anything Harry dislikes it's labels and putting people in boxes so he decides to leave it at that.   
-  
The phone wakes him up and he groans loud. He just fell asleep after an hour of twisting and turning in his bed. 

It was either too hot or too cold and if it was just right he needed to pee and when that was done Liam called from the pub telling him that 'he would not make it home tonight because he had found a super cute girl he was going home to' and he just wanted Louis to know. 

Then, when he fucking finally had fallen asleep the bloody phone decides to ring. Why didn't he put it on silent? 

He sits up and fumbles under his pillow to find the phone, it takes a second or two to adjust to the bright light from the screen making his eyes water a little. 

'Nialler' is calling so he picks up quick. 

"What's up lil bro?" He sighs and asks, if it were any other person he would've gotten mad or at least irritated with them, but this is Niall and he loves Niall. 

"Um. Im so sorry Lou," Niall beings very low and sounds oddly apologetic. 

Louis can't help his heart beginning to race in his chest. What if something has happened? Why is he apologising? There are a hundred questions running though his head and he hasn't the time to wrap his head around them and his extremely tired mind before Niall is speaking again.

"Can you please come pick me and Harry up? Please Lou, I promise I'll do wh-" Niall babbles on but Louis is already out of his bed and pulling on his sweats he had thrown on the chair in the corner earlier. 

"Of course Ni, I'm on my way, where are you?" He runs down the stairs and grabs a hoodie that's hanging by the door on his way out. 

He locks his front door and runs down the stairs and then out to his car faster than ever before, well faster than in a while. 

Last time he stressed his much must've been when Liam fell at work and sprained his ankle and he needed help or when Niall and Harry got wasted before and called for help. 

"Come pick us up by the gas station you used to," Niall sighs exhausted and his words come out slightly slurred.

Louis does hope he has only drank a little and isn't injured in some way. He could hear people in the background and some thumping familiar to music so he really wants it to be a party and nothing serious.

Yes, he can grow tired of being the one who is babysitting them and getting them when they get into trouble or whatever but he would never let them down and not do it. He loves them both so, so much, Niall is like his brother by blood and Harry is, well, Harry. 

He has always been something special to Louis, something just out of the ordinary. He is so good hearted and such a good guy, he doesn't deserve any of what he already has been put through. Not any of what he remembers and especially not what he doesn't.

The drive is quick and he parks by the gas station just in time as he sees Niall struggle carrying a passed out Harry in his arms. He rushes out of his car and sprints up to them. 

"What happened?" He asks a little out of breath and takes the heavy boy from Niall's tired arms. He is very light for his height, he is a little bit taller than Louis and growing, soon he will be towering over him. 

"You know, um, we kind of, we went to a party and Harry got beyond wasted. I'm sorry I know I should've stopped him when I began noticing him getting out of control but he just, he was so happy and enjoying it and- and I just couldn't," Niall's words are much more clear than on the phone but he is stuttering, he thinks Louis will throw a fit and tell on them. He should know better by now, Louis isn't that uncool.

"It's okay Niall, I understand," Louis smiles and turns to walk towards the car. He opens the door to the back seats and lies him down carefully.   
Harry's snapback falls off and his damp curls are attached to his forehead. 

Why, why the fuck is he so beautiful?

His lips are wet from saliva and it's dripping down his chin. His cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and cold probably and his lashes brush his beautiful cheekbones. 

No, beautiful is and understatement. There aren't words enough to describe Harry Styles.

He sighs deep and steps back to slam the door shut and walk around to the drivers seat. 

Niall is already seated in the passenger seat with the belt on waiting for Louis to drive wherever he feels like. 

"Let's get home," Louis starts up the car and pats Niall's knee and doesn't miss him stiffen. 

"To my place, don't worry kiddo," he nudges Niall's shoulder and hears a released sigh leave his lips.  
-  
"So what happened?" Louis asks finally after a short and quiet drive and after he carried the tall boy up the stairs to his and Liam's apartment.

Thank god he isn't home tonight, it would be hard to explain why the hell he agreed to it and drove out to get his brother and his drunk best friend this late. He looks at the clock on the wall over the sofa. At four am to be exact.

"Well as I said, we went to a party. We made friends with Zayn's friends and Nathan who by the way was clearly into Harry wanted to play seven minutes in heaven and so we did that with a bunch of guys and girls. Of course it's Zayn so he got drinking into the game somehow and Harry well, he just is shitfaced now," Niall laughs awkwardly and Louis just nods trying to comprehend everything.

Just a normal party then. Louis just hopes to god nothing bad happened when they played. It could go so wrong with those kinds of games. 

He almost want to hit himself in the face, he can't believe he out of everyone is thinking of consequences around parties and games. He used to be like that, he used to be Harry. Getting drunk and not caring about anything.

He did get better obviously. So did Harry and Niall so it's a little confusing as to why they are back here after a year of being sober enough to handle themselves at least.

"So he just passed out or?" Louis asks and walks over to the kitchen to get a warm wet cloth to dry Harry's face a little. He seemed so hot and sweaty when he carried him from the car. He has been mumbling and whimpering since they left the gas station and Louis is all too familiar with all of this.

"Yeah, I called you immediately, you always help and know what to do. Thank you Lou I don't know what I'd do without you," Niall hugs him as tight as he can when he comes back with the wet blue cloth in his hand.

"No worries, everything for my brother," Louis laughs it off and walks over to the sofa where Harry is turning around looking displeased and worried almost.

He pats his forehead with it first and although the sounds don't stop though they do sound less bothered.

"Lou," he breathes out whining and it startles both Louis and Niall. How could he know? He hasn't even opened his eyes yet. It's maybe and automatic response from when this happened pretty much every weekend, he just knows the one who is there to take care of his is either him or Niall.

His eyes flutter open and Louis doesn't even bother to back away from his face. He just stares down and blues meets greens once again. It makes his stomach flutter even if he would never admit it to anyone.

"Hey," he smiles his warm smile that always shows up on his face whenever Harry is around. He just makes him happy. 

"I-I'm gonna," Harry sits up as his eyebrows furrow and he groans holding his hand over his mouth and tummy.

He will throw up any second. Louis panics shooting glances all over the room to figure out what to give Harry to be sick in but it's too late. Harry's vomit is all over Louis' hoodie and sweats and Harry breathes heavily trying to collect himself.

"Shit, I'm- I am so sorry," he exclaims and looks up in panic and embarrassment when he has registered what has happened. 

"Don't worry," Louis assures him because really, it's fine. He rubs soothing circles on his back and watches Harry relax slowly by the touch. 

"Um, I think you need to get changed," Niall clears his throat and Louis closes his eyes to breathe in for a second before looking at Niall who smiles innocently at them both. 

"No shit you bloke," Louis rolls his eyes in a teasing matter and gets up from the sofa even if he would like to stay like that comforting Harry forever. 

He leaves to his bedroom and grabs the biggest Tee he owns which even is big on Harry. Well it was when he last borrowed it. He grabs some oversized sweats and a hoodie he has stolen from Liam to Niall and goes out once again. 

"Here you go, I'm getting into the shower. Goodnight," he smiles at them and pushes his long hair out from his eyes.

"Good night," Niall grabs the clothes and hugs Louis.

"Good night, stinky," Harry teases and sounds extremely tired and raspy. 

"Hey, it's because of you, you little shit," he ruffles Harry's curly heavenly hair and walks to the bathroom. 

God does he love them.


End file.
